fixation

note to self #62

What really matters?

People. People matter.

note to self #61

School is coming to an end and so finals are coming up. I’m also trying to figure out if anyone wants to sublease for me and take my spot during the summer. I’m most likely going to be living in a new house with some different guys from church but am not too sure. I need a car in general and it’s been difficult going from place to place in San Diego and it’s even worse in San Jose. I need/want a new amp hahaha. Maybe i don’t need that but i sure do want that. Hoping to find some sort of work when i go back home so i can have some money coming in.

I’ve come to realize that none of these obstacles for me are really the problem. Life always throws curveballs at you here and there and we can’t foresee everything. What’s really the problem is how I let these problems get to me and overwhelm me. No one ever teaches how to deal with stress and everyday problems in a healthy way. Why are there no classes like Dealing with Life 101 or Managing Stress in a Healthy Way 203 in college? Jeesh, thats one of the most important things to learn especially when you’re growing up and learning to be on your own. 

I haven’t been stressed like this in a really long time. This week I’ve been absorbing stress like a sponge and I’m usually pretty good at letting go of my burdens but this week I’m struggling to find peace and to just relax. This would be a terrible way to enter summer…all stressed out and unhappy and not enjoying what i have. I’m finishing school in less than a week and so how can I be this anxious? I want to say the last time I’ve been like this was in high school. I absorbed so much stress, anxiety, nervousness in high school I felt like i was going to burst. I’ve been much better at handling stress and enjoying people’s company. High school seemed like such a long time ago.

In the midst of all of this, I’m realizing that there’s always going to be troubles. I used to half believe it because I didn’t want to believe it, but now it’s becoming more of a reality. It’s cool that Jesus can handle any sort of twisted situation and that if we just leave everything to Him, He’s going to take care of it. I can’t put my hope in myself because that doesn’t work but when i put it in Him, He never fails. If there’s anyone I can trust, it’s Him.